


A Slightly Strange InuYasha Story

by Nioshireami



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 19:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nioshireami/pseuds/Nioshireami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinakona Minoshiu exists for one reason and one reason alone. To wreak havoc on a feudal world in as many of the most ridiculous ways possible all in the sake of good fun!  All the while trying to ensnare her various sexy Paramours whether they realize they want her yet or not with her near limitless abilities.</p><p>Total Crack fic, an outlet for randomness I sometimes get and feel the need to inflict upon the internet. I've been told its kinda funny too. Reposting from Fanfiction.net and updating here cuz I like this better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hi! I'm Trouble! I mean Hinako!

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will happen when the random urge strikes I have no schedule I make no promises other than no matter how gone you may think I am, I'll likely surprise you and come back with a new chapter. Unless I'm dead. In which case sorry you're SOL I'm kinda busy. flame if you want, I might use it in the story since I'm not that serious about it its all in fun, and please comment or message me suggestions of randomness you want to see included, it might spark more insanity! But I digress. 
> 
> What else.... OH!
> 
> I Own nothing, I make no money, I mean no harm, any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental and no harm is intended. 
> 
> There covered all my bases, I think. So without further ado and unnecessary flourish, 
> 
> Enjoy!

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi! My name is Hinakona Minoshiu but I go by Hina or Hinako if I tell you my name. I think I am as perfect as can be as far as looks go but my personality always changes. I am a bit of everything. Yup that's right, part every kind of demon, part anything magical, part human and I'm a transformation person thingy. I also can make my blood smell of any of the things I am. Sure it's kinda creepy but I bet I'm the only person you know of who can do that. I also know everything about everyone period. If you try to correct me it WILL result in a long argument in which I will win and you will be left thoroughly confused and exceptionally convinced of my rightness. I can make people believe things easily, for example: pretending to be from your past. And FYI I currently am living in Kagome's time so all of my, well if you are joining me OUR exploits will begin there….for next chapter at least I am getting bored here ha ha!


	2. Meeting the Gang, formally

Here I am sitting in class… BORED OUT OF MY MIND! 'Ugh when will this day end!' Then the bell rang. 'Ahh what a glorious sound.' I thought.

I am walking away from my school (same as Kagome) in my human life and hating every minute of it. 'Ugh this is horrible. I could have found somewhere to live as a demon, but NOOOOOOOOOOO I had to try out human life. Stupid Hinakona! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Your such a baka,'

"Hey Hinako wait up!" someone called.

'Lovely. Hojo is here to brighten up my day my making me more enemies. Ooh, but I get a date opportunity...'

"Hi Hojo." I say with a fake smile.

"Hi! Say, I was wondering, if you're not to busy maybe we could go some where this weekend?" he says innocently with a faint blush on his cheeks. I received a few death glares from passing girls.

'Thats it; I give up. I'm going to find Kagome... I know her secret and that's a better life; in the era of demons.' I thought dreamily. 'She came to school today right? So I just need to make a quick friend pull a few strings and, end a school boy's crush.'

"Hojo.... I'm sorry but today was my last day here I'm... Er... Moving! Yeah that's it! I'm moving out of the country so I can't. It's been fun sorry." I said He looked sad but his fan club looked overjoyed. I rolled my eyes at that.

I looked to my left and saw Kagome running towards her house. 'Perfect.' I thought to myself

"Kagome!" I called after her. She turned around and stared at me.

"Yes?" she asked.

'Now for the drama' I thought

"Y-You mean you still hate me? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" I pretended to cry sinking to my knees.

"H-hey don't cry. Why would I hate you?" She asked.

"Because you liked Hojo, but now you love Inuyash-ack!" I cut myself off my eyes widening.

"What did you just say?!" She practically screeched.

'Oops, blew my cover' I thought and reached up and took one of the jewel shards from around her neck, jumping up.

"Hey! Give that back!" She screamed

"Sure after I get to the fudal !" I took off running using my demonic speed towards the Bone-Eaters Well. Just as I reached the shine around the well, the door flung open and there stood Inuyasha.

'I'm srcewed' I thought Falling back from my impact with the ground

"Um hi your Inuyasha right? I'm Hinakona, but call me Hinako" I said from my place on the ground

"Feh." He said ignoring my presence entirely looking for Kagome.

'So stubborn' I thought standing up making a dramatic display if dusting myself off before taking a step towards the well.

"INUYASHA STOP THAT GIRL!" I heard Kagome scream from behind me.

"Why?" Inuyasha responded.

"Excuse me." I pushed past him and jumped on the wells edge.

"GIVE ME BACK MY JEWEL SHARD YOU THIEF!" she screamed at me.

"What she has a jewel shard?!" Inuyasha screamed

"Hey I said I'd give it back after I'm safely in the feudal era." and with that I jumped into the well followed by Inuyasha and Kagome. The second I hit the bottom of the well I jumped out and started to walk but was grabbed from behind by my shirt and lifted off the ground. I knew it was Inuyasha. "Oh hello there." I said as innocently as possible.

"The jewel shard." he said with a very annoyed look.

"Of course" I said handing it to him. He took it and dropped me on my butt. "Owwww..." I said standing up rubbing my sore butt only to feel another hand join mine. I turned around and slapped the owner as hard as I could. "MIROKU TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR YOU WONT BE ABLE TO HAVE ANY CHILDREN!" I screamed and turned back around only to meet the eyes of Kagome. "AIYA! personal space please." I said backing up.

"Who are you and how do you know everyone's names!" She shouted

"Who am I? I am Hinako." I said. They all did an anime fall and Kagome got back in my face.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN DONT PLAY DUMB WITH ME!" I gave her a blank look.

"Talk human." Inuyasha said. I glanced at him changing the scent of my blood quickly and then changed it back making Inuyasha's nose twitch "Kagome the questions not who is she its what is she." he said I smiled at this.

"Well im a bit of human, a bit of sorcerous, a bit of fox demon, cat demon, dog demon, wolf demon, moust demon,dragon demon.....*****3HOURS LATER****** a bit of tiger demon, a bit of fire demon, a bit of enchantress a bit of-"

"OK ENOUGH ALREADY!" Inuyasha screamed.

"Well you the one who asked." Inuyasha started growling sudenly

"Someone's here." he said lowly

"Hi Kagura, how are you Kanna?" I said cheerfully into the bushes. They walked out.

"Who are you?" Kagura questioned

"I am Hinako." you replied.

"I sense strange powers from you. What are you." Kanna said. I grinned again.

"Well I'm a bit of-"

"Trust me you don't wanna know" Inuyasha said cutting in.

"Inuyasha that's rude. What if they do?" I said. A childish pout on my lips

"They are my enemies and I'm warning them of something. That right there should be enough prooof its that bad." He said. I got an anime vein on my head,

"Inuyasha..." I said slowly

"What?" he said.

"DOWN BOY!" I screamed. His prayer beads glowed a blue color and he fell. Hard. The crater was so deep you couldn't even see him at the bottom.

"I thought only Kagome could do that." Miroku thought out loud.

"Hmm. Interesting. Kanna lets go we have found something more valuable that Naraku might want." She said pulling out her feather and departing with Kanna.


	3. Naraku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quickly glancing at these as I'm cross posting I can see how the writing improved through the ridiculousness as it goes along... I don't care enough to edit them, but I'm proud to say it gets more readable.... Gosh I was young when this foolishness began and here I am adding to it..

Kagura and Kanna flew back to Naraku's castle but approached slowly. Cautiously. "Kagura. Kanna. Have you killed Inuyasha." Narakus voice rang out through the castle.

"No, master Naraku, but we did find something, or rather someone that could help us with defeating him and all of you enemies." Kagura said hiding her scowl beneath a respetful bow.

'Perhaps she also knows a way to free us from Naraku.' she thought subconsciously so Naraku couldn't read her thoughts

"Who is it?" Naraku said appearing out of the shadows. Kanna stepped up holding her mirror.

"She is a girl from Kagome's time. She knows a lot about this world and has never been here before." Kanna shifted her mirror and there appeared a picture. Her mirror showed Hinakona; where she was and what she was doing. Naraku watched only mildly interested in who she was. He was not convinced that she was all she was cracked up to be. He was however interested in her beauty.

………

"Gee thanks Inuyasha. Now Naraku will be 'Interested' in me!" I said in an annoyed voice.

"WHAT?! ITS NOT MY FAULT!" He defended.

"Sure Inuyasha its not your fautlt. Nothings ever your fault. Just like k-"I was cut off by Miroku grabbing my hands. "No." I said and he looked confused. "Nevermind." I said sighing, "You needed something?" I said in a falsely sweet tone.

"Hinaoko will you-" He began

"No." I said

"But you didn't let me finish." He said feigning hurt.

"Oh goodness your right I'm so sorry go ahead." I said in that still fake sweet voice adding a fake smile.

"Will you do me the honor of-" He began again

"No." I repeated.

"Hinako!" He said becoming frustrated.

"Ooops did I interupt again please finish." I said. He drew in a deep breath.

"Will you do me the honor of bearing my child." I gasped and got all sparkly eyed.

"Let me think about it. Ummmmm…" I said still sparkle eyed. He smiled and I smiled back at him.

"No." I said in the sweet voice.

"Huh?" he said blinking owlishly.

"NO YOU PERVERTED MONK! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! To think I came her planning to live a normal, better than human, demon life..." Then I turned from him and go over to Sango. "Hi Sango. Can I play with Kilala?" I asked

"Play with Kilala?" she asked suprised.

"Kilala doesn't take well to thieving strangers with crazy mixed blood." Kagome said. I looked at her from the corner of my eye.

"Go fall in a ditch Kagome. I knew you hated me...Waaaa!" I said the first part so only Kagome could hear. She looked shocked.

"Kagome that was rude." Sango said taking pity "You're not usually like this."

"Yes Kagome it's wrong to make beautiful women cry." Miroku said. Kagome looked dumbfounded.

"We don't have time for this annoying girl so lets' go." Inuyasha said taking his crossed arms pose.

"Annoying?!" I screeched. I reached into Kagome's bag and pulled out 2 sets of ear plugs. I put a pair in Shippo's ears and a pair in Kilala's then I pulled out a dog whistle from my pocket and faced Inuyasha. "Inuyasha are you ready to face more pain then when you're forced to 'sit'?" He looked scared for half a second and then got cocky again.

"Like you could really do anything." he said. I smirked and blew into the whistle as hard as I could. In seconds he was rolling on the ground clutching his ears. "Stop! Stop! Please stop!" He screamed. I stopped and smiled.

"Now, are your and your little girlfriend going to apologize?" I asked

"Not a chance." was his response.

"Very well then!" I blew the whistle again and tapped into his mind about to scream 'why can't you just be agreeable?' but stopped when I heard his thoughts.

'Goodness the only reason I said no is cause Kagome is not my girlfriend. I didn't even blush when she said it. Wait I didnt blush? Could that mean I don't like Kagome anymore? oh yeah Kikyo....' He thought. I stopped blowing the whistle

"I'm sorry. I've made a terrible mistake both of you still must apologize but I had forgotten Inuyasha has Kikyo and doesn't need Kagome. My bad." as I said Kikyo's name

I watched for Inuyasha's reaction and tapped into his mind again. His expression was more shocked than angered or saddened.

'KIKYO! KIKYO?! How does she know about Kikyo.... Wait, why am I not more angered by what she said? If she makes me act this way than... I...I must... Love her.' I heard him think. I gasped and stumbled backwards and fell to my knees.

"H-hey what's wrong with you?" Inuyasha said half-woriedly. I begin to blush and turn my head; sure I had been liked before, Hojo was proof of that, but loved?

"Nothing Inuyasha." I said all of a sudden shy.

"How touching." came a deep scary voice from all around us. I noticed Inuyasha draw his sword and everyone take a fighting stance and instantly I knew who the deep creepy voice belonged to.

"Naraku, show yourself!" Inuyasha called to the forest. Naraku laughed

"Relax Inuyasha. Today I am not here to destroy you. I have simply come for the girl." Naraku drawled.

"Kagome could kill you if you took her! On second thought have her." Miroku said. Naraku laughed again

"I have no intention of taking Kagome I want the lovely one."

"You're not getting me or Sango!" Kagome screamed enraged. Inuyasha gasped.

"He wants Hinako." he whispered to himself and then began running as fast as he could towards me. He had almost reached me but Naraku's vines sprouted from the ground and grabbed me.

"EEEEEEEK! LEMME GO!" I screamed in a panic and disgust.

"NO!" Inuyasha screamed after me. I began to struggle against the vines.

"HELP!" I screamed before I was roughly pulled into the forest. Upon entrance I hit my head on a low tree branch and blacked out.

I awoke in a room and looked up to see Naraku staring at me. "Girl. What is your name?" he said sternly.

"It's not 'Girl' I can sure tell you that much..." I snapped.

"Watch your tounge girl." He said his anger flaring.

"Temper, temper Naraku. Now, like I really need to ask, but why am I here?" he smirked,

"You know an awful lot about me and Inuyasha and all of each of our enemies and allies correct?"

"Ignoring the fact you scripted that from my mind, yes." I replied rolling my eyes.

"You will tell me your secrets." he said still smirking. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"And if I refuse?" Narakus smirk faded

"Then perish." he said darkly.

"So let me see if I have this right." I started, "If I don't tell you the secrets, which you don't know, then you will kill me. Thereby destroying your only source of this information? Sounds like a lose-lose situation and a pretty stupid one at that. Don't you think?" I said. He threw me against the wall in anger.

"Put on one of the kimonos in the closet. I will summon you for dinner. You will attend or face the concequences..." He said angrily.

"What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing!" I yelled. He turned and shredded all of my clothes with his claws so I was now sitting before him in virtually nothing and becoming more embarrassed by the second. He smirked.

"Nothing's wrong with them. If that is truly what you wish to wear by all means I wouldn't mind at all." He said licking his lips and staring at my almost completely naked body and with that he left slamming the door behind him.

"I will summon you for dinner or face the consequences." I mimicked while standing to walk to the closet. "Wear a kimono; Nothings wrong with your clothes." I continued to mimick. I pulled out a kimono and held it to my body almost immediately throwing it down.

'That that that...TOTAL PERVERT!! Don't tell me…' I pulled out almost all of the kimonos. 'Why does this suprise me? Why does it suprise me at all? Every single kimono is so slutty and revealing... Not that the uniform was much better but still... Aha brain storm!' I turn into a seduction demon and put on the most revealing kimono. 'Lets just see how Naraku likes being seduced and then disgusted!' I thought as I finished getting ready.

"Naraku requests your presence at dinner." I heard Kagura's voice ring out from the other side of the door. I opened the door and stepped out thinking this will be good.'


	4. Seduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some.... sexual humor? is here. not too graphic if I remember correctly, nothing to rate it any higher anyway, I hope. courtesy warning.

I stepped out of the room smirking at the look on Kagura's face. "Are you truly as stupid as to present yourself before Naraku in that way?" she asked her eyes still wide at my new appearance.

"Kagura. You despise Naraku with every fiber of your being correct?" Her face darkend at the sound of Naraku's name and she nodded "Then trust me and watch what happens tonight when I 'present myself to Naraku' and make him- well you'll see." I brushed past Kagura and turned the corner.

'So she knows of my feelings towards Naraku... She truly is powerful. Maybe she can be the one to kill Naraku and set my free.'Kagura thought. I popped my head back from around the corner looking very embarrassed and confused.

"Umm Kagura?" She looked at me expectantly. "Where's the dinning room?" She did an anime fall

'Then again maybe shes not....' Kagura thought to herself. Kagura led me to the dining room with a heavily annoyed look on her face. When we arrived at the dining room Kagura knocked 3 times and waited. Kanna opened the door shortly after she looked at me with her expressionless gaze and I could have sworn I saw worry flash in her eyes, if only for a moment. She led me to the table announcing my presence to Naraku. Naraku paid no attention to me as I walked in and sat down which kind of pissed me off. Finally the food was brought to me.

"I see you decided to join me wise decision?" I glared at him but he was still not looking at me.

"Oh yeah I've only been here for half an hour, not that my decision was any wiser then." Naraku looked up at me sharply ready to give me a death glare of all death glares but stopped seeing my appearance. His jaw dropped slightly and I could see him getting excited.

'Perfect,' I thought 'its working.' I got on my knees leaning down and reaching across the table to take his chopsticks. The low cut kimono was giving Naraku a pretty good view of 'everything I own' as I did this. 'Almost there' I thought. I sat back down with a thud causing my breast to bounce. This pushed Naraku over the edge. He jumped across the table straddling me ripping at my clothes. 'A little bit longer....now!' The second Naraku had gotten the rest of my kimono off of me I turned into a metamorphosis demon and morphed into.... Miroku! A naked Miroku! Naraku went pale his face riddled with disgust. He immediately rolled off me looking ill. I smiled Miroku's charming smile.

"What's wrong Naraku? Don't you want me anymore?" I said standing up.

"T-that was cruel." he said obviously fighting sickness

"No. No Naraku that was fun." I walked out of the dining room on that final note. Once outside I changed back into myself (tiger demon form) and looked over to the left to see Kagura doubled over on the floor fight back laughter. "I'd like to be returned to my room now." I said. She stood up and led me to my room. We both walked inside, sound-proofed and spell-proofed the room, and fell to the floor in a fit of giggles at outbursts of laughter. When we were done laughing Kagura actually smiled at me and said,

"You know what, I think well get along just fine kid I like you." I laughed some more and then Kagura left. I laid on my bed thinking about what I did and slowly drifted off to sleep smiling all the way.


	5. Punishment?

I awoke the next morning to see Kanna sitting in my room with the same blank face, but there were tears in her eyes. "Kanna? whats wrong?" a single tear rolled down her face

"You made Naraku angry. Very angry." I was about to make a smart-aleck remark but I noticed blood stained on her kimono sleeve.

"Kanna," I started slowly, "what happened to your arm?" I asked the girl fearful of the answer

"Naraku. He never did this before." she said revealing the gash on her arm I was hit with immense guilt. I took her arm and healed her wound.

"I think I'll go talk with Naraku." I said my eyes tinting red.

I burst into Naraku's room and immediately wished I hadn't. "Narak- OH MY DEAR LORD!" I screamed. I was seeing Naraku standing over Kagura holding some nasty fleshy thing in his hand squeezing it like a stress ball while Kagura was clutching her chest in pain.

"That's a heart… He is holding a real heart. I saw it beating in his hands. Oh I'm gonna be sick" I said paling. I closed the door and took a step away from the door. I heard Naraku's door slam open and swiftly looked up to see none other then Naraku himself glaring down at me. The sight of him, heart free brought back the reason I went in search of Naraku. I stood up and slapped him hard across the face with all of my now demon strength. He turned back enraged his eyes turning black in anger, but I was too absorbed in preparing to lecture him to death to notice. "YOU SICK, PERVERTED, EVIL, TWISTED, OVER REACTING, CHILD ABUSING, IDIOTIC, COCKY, ARROGANT, BITCHY, JEALOUS, DISRESPECTFUL," I took a huge gasp of air and continued, "REVENGE RIDDEN, COWARDLY, MMMMMPH, MMMMMMPH, MMMMMMPH, MMMMMPH" Naraku had covered my mouth in an attempt to shut me up but I just kept on talking into his hand. He stared hard at me his eyes telling me to shut up. Suddenly I bit down hard making him rip his hand away, "SICK BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU HURT KANNA! WHY I HAVE HALF A MIND TO JUST BEAT YOU TO A PULP RIGHT NOW! NO MATTER HOW MILDLY SEXY MY BESTFRIEND THINKS YOU ARE! NOT THAT I SOULD CARE! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A CHILD ABUSER! BUT THEN AGAIN I GUESSED YOUD HAVE TO BE, SINCE YOU ARE ONIGUMO PLUS DEMONS!"I saw his eyes widen, "YEA I KNOW ALL ABOUT HOW UGLY YOU GET ON THE NIGHT OF THE NEW MOON!" I continued ranting while Naraku looked at mea vein in his head throbbing.

'She knows the night when I'm most powerless and she's worried about me being ugly. Did she say her friend thinks I'm sexy? Are there more of her? Others know my secrets and the secrets of my enemies.' Naraku thought to himself.

"AND FURTHER MORE!" I screamed before Naraku gabbed my throat. I glared at him and said, "That's Sesshomaru's thing you know." I said. He dropped me and turned around his shoulders shaking. "Are you laughing at me?!" I asked him more shocked then angry he turned back and regained his composure. I smirked and transformed into Sesshomaru making him turn around again laughing.

"Y-you will b-be pun-ished for you actions tonight." He said taking deep breaths to keep himself from laughing I transformed back to normal and arched and eyebrow.

"Punished? Me?" I said like it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. "Try it and I won't tell you a thing." I said snottily

"I'll kill Kanna." He said

"No you won't. She's your favorite." I said smartly

"Kagura then." I shook my head.

"You enjoy torturing her to much."

"Ill kill you then." He said frustrated

"Haven't we been through that one already?" he groaned annoyed then smirked

"So true and yet you'd be surprised at what you can live through." I glared at him and was about to say some thing when,

"This shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s. THIS SHIT IS BANANAS! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!." I looked at my hip to see my cell phone was ringing. "This shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-" it started again but I answered it.

"Hello?" I questioned suprised

"H-hi Hinako." A voice said on the other end of the phone. I groaned inwardly

"Hojo, Why are you calling me?"

"Well the school told me you weren't moving but you weren't at school and-"

"Hojo this is a bad time I'm kinda in the middle of something ok bye sweetie!" I clicked off the phone. The sweetie was just to piss off Naraku so I couldn't help but look at him "What?" I asked

"What is that thing?" he asked poining to my cell phone.

"It's called a cell phone." I yawned "Good night Naraku." I said walking off

"Good night." he said forgetting my punishment. He went back in his room and threw Kagura out before going to bed. At that same moment I poked my head back around the corner.

"Er Kagura, can you show me where my room is again?" she did an anime fall again.

'This girl,' Kagura thought 'Is hopeless!' She then walked me to my room


	6. Sexiest Villain Contest Champion

"HINAKOOOOO!!!!" I heard Naraku bellow.

"NARAKUUUUUUUUU!!!!" I yelled back absentmindedly reading one of Naraku's plan books. Not like I didn't already know all of his possibly "diabolical" plots.

"Time for your punishment." He said darkly.

"Mmmmhmm." I said not really paying attention and drawing unflattering pictures of Naraku in his plot book.

"Aren't you scared?"

"Mmmmmhmm." I mumbled

"Don't you wanna know what it is?"

"Mmmmmhmm." I wasn't really paying attention

"What's your name?" He asked trying to make me paying attention to him

"Mmmmmmhmm. Oh I'm sorry were you saying something kinda important?" I asked curiously. Naraku did an anime fall.

"YOU STUPID FOOL! YOU BRAINLESS BEAUTY YOU YOUYOU- WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!"

"Reading...Drawing...Talking......Thinking, A lot things, do you need me to list them all? Cause Im a lil busy right now." Naraku's veins were bulging and his fists were clutching so tightly at his sides his palms were about to bleed.

"I could, I should KILL YOU! I could kill you right now and no one would help you. No one would hear you scream." He said making gestures with his hand. I continued drawing ignoring him entirely and then I smelled something.

"Inuyasha's here... You're a fool if you didn't know that already. He should burst in in a bout…3…2" I said counting

"HINAKO!" Inuyasha called as he burst through the wall blowing dust and miasma all over my drawing.

"Did I call it or what?" I said and looked back to my drawing. "KYAAAAAAAA!" I screamed.

"What, what's wrong? What happened?!" Inuyasha asked worried. I looked at him with anime tears streaming down my face.

"YOU RUINED MY DRAWING! I WORKED SO HARD ON IT TOO!" I cried. Inuyasha took the drawing from me and wiped some dust off of it. He inspected what the drawing was and burst out laughing

"THAT'S HILLARIOUS!" He yelled. He was now rolling on the floor from laughing so hard.

"WHAT DID YOU DRAW IN MY BOOK?!" Naraku screamed furious.

"You of course." I said innocently. He snatched the book from Inuyasha and looked at the drawing his face turning completely red. I had drawn a chibi Naraku thrashing in his sleep screaming. 'I am the best evil bad guy monkey and don't you forget it Inuyasha-chan! You have funny ears…sooooo fuzzy…. zzzz" I smiled at him "Don't you love it!"

"I'm going to kill you. You know that right." He said in a scary calm voice.

"Mmmmhmm" I said drawing in another one of his books that I found.

"STOP DRAWING IN MY BOOKS!" Naraku screamed taking his book back.

"Fine I'm leaving with Inu. Come on Inuyasha." I said. Walking out of Inyasha's hole. You looked out into the miasma and saw a tall figure approaching.

"Hinako! Get behind me quick!" Inuyasha screamed

"What for?" I asked clueless turning my back on the figure only to be pulled behind Inuyasha who was in a fighting stance.

"Who is this Inuyasha? Another human wench of yours?" Came a familiar sexy monotone. I made my tiger tail wrap around my hips like a belt.

"A demon? I'm impressed little brother." The tall figure came closer and soon I could tell who it was. It was none other than Lord Sesshomaru.

"OMG! You-y-your him! You're really him!" I screamed with hearts in my eyes and jumped on him in a hug. "The only one ever to win The Sexiest villain award 12 times in a row!" I squealed rubbing my cheek against his.

"Sexiest... Villain??? Are you serious there's an award and this ass won!" I looked at a very jealous Inuyasha. In my excitement I had forgotten he was even there.

"Yes. 12 times in a row, and the legacy continues." I said matter-of-factly.

"Lord Sesshomaru. What a pleasant surprise now if you wouldn't mind returning the girl. She belongs to me." I jumped off of Sesshomaru and looked at Naraku. He was in the monkey suit again.

"How many times must I tell you I belong to NO ONE! You stupid monkey." I said. Then I felt myself being picked up from behind. I looked back to see Sesshomaru.

"This girl must be special if you both want her so desperately and yet" he looked at me and I swooned.

"She seems to prefer me. So, I will be taking her." And with that we were off!


	7. First Day in the Castle

We arrived at Sesshomaru's home a few minutes after we left Naraku's castle "Wow I love your castle Sesshy-kun! It's just like I imagined." I said

"Don't call me Sesshy-kun." He responded

"And the grounds they're so lush and nice. How do you find time to keep it like this Sesshy-kun?" I said not really paying attention

"I said don't call me Sesshy-kun." He said a bit more sternly and agitated.

"Its all so perfect and beautiful. Just like you, Sesshy-kun." I said with a small dreamy sigh turning to face him but much to my surprise he wasn't moved by my statement he was twitching in anger.

"ARE YOU DEAF WOMAN?! DID I NOT JUST SPECIFICALLY ISTRUCT YOU NOT TO CALL ME SESSHY-KUN?!"

"Um...did you?" I said stupidly with a sweat drop on my forehead. He looked ready to explode then he calmed down for some reason. I was confused until I heard:

"Lord Sesshomaru! You're back I've been so lonely without you!" I got anime hearts in my eyes again.

"YATTA! Rin-chan you are sooo CUTE!" I said hugging her.

"Thank you miss. What's your name? How did you know mine?" I smiled at her.

"I know a lot of things Rin. My name is Hinako by the way." She smiled back.

"Do you want to play with me Lady Hinako?" I smiled again she was just too cute.

"Sur-" another voice cut you off:

"Rin! It was very rude of you to just run off like that and leave me behind. Why if Lord Sesshomaru knew-" I looked at the ugly green thing squawking and screamed.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW! Its an ugly froggy bug like thing!" I grabbed it and started beating it senseless. "EEEW! EEW! EEW! SESSHY-KUN KILL IT! GET IT AWAY! ITS A BUG! ITS A FROG! I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT ITS SLIMY AND GROSS! I WANT IT GONE ITS OOOOGLIE BOOOGLIE!" I chucked it up and kicked it as it came down. By now it was a miracle it was still alive after my screaming fit when I was strangling, slamming, and beating the vile thing.

"Ouch…" The thing said

"EEW the boooglie speaks!" I said picking up a large rock over my head

"Wait Lady Hinako! That's Lord Jaken, Lord Sesshomaru's assistant" Rin said.

"Oh," I said dropping the rock "My bad Boooglie-chan" I said. I heard what sounded like someone trying to hold back laughter when I called Jaken Boooglie-chan  
you looked up to find that it was none other than my Sexy savior Sesshomaru. Try saying that 5 times fast. "What's so funny Sesshy-kun?" His laughter immediately stopped.

"What did I just get finished telling you?" He said back to his dangerous monotone

"Oh right no Sesshy-kun. Got it. Lets go play Rin." I said starting to walk away with her.

"Bye Boooglie-chan! Bye Lord Fluffy-chan!" I said and took off running knowing Sesshomaru would like his new nickname as much as he liked the last one.

"Calm down Sesshomaru. Don't kill her. You need her." Sesshomaru said to him self quietly "What an intriguing girl, this Hinako." With that said he turned on his heel and walked into his castle.

"Lord Sesshomaru? Rin? Somebody?" a small voice called out "Boooglie can't move. Help please!" Jaken's cries went un answered


	8. Top 5 ways to Annoy, Anger, and generally Antagonize a Demon Lord

#5: Dinner disaster

"Come on try a bite! Its good I promise!" I squealed. Sesshomaru shook his head no. "Please it's not like its poisoned or anything."

"Oh now I'm really not going to eat it." He said I sighed that was my twelfth attempt. I had offered to make dinner to make up for an earlier incident.

"Think about it Ses- I mean Lord Sexy-kun. Why would I try to do anything bad to the man I damn near obsess over?!" I said

"Oooooooh. Lady Hinako said a bad word." Rin giggled and Sesshomaru sent me a sharp look. I turned red and sat back down in my seat.

"Oops I did didnt I." I said and sat in silence for a few more seconds. "Now will you eat it?" I asked trying once again to complete my task of feeding Sesshomaru. He did an anime fall.

"NO! I WILL NOT NOW NOR WILL I EVER EAT ANYTHING PREPARED BY YOU!" I sighed and sat back down.

"How about now?"

"NO!"

"Why?!"

"Didnt you hear what I said already?!"

*Flashback*

"Alright ready 3-2-1 GO!" I called as Rin and I released our water balloons on the head of Sesshomaru at his study desk. He slowly looked up to see the culprits. "Rin." I said slowly as he looked up and spotted us. "Run!" I screamed and run we did for the exhilarating 10 seconds before we were caught.

"What is the meaning of this Hinako?" Sesshomaru boomed. You looked at his hair that was slowly darkening. The water balloons had a potion to temporarily darken the hair of the victim.

"Um… It was just some water in balloons all in good fun right? It's not like we did anything drastic Fluffy-chan." I said quickly.

"New rules," He said. "1) You will always address me as lord or sama." He said sternly

"Ok Lord Flu-" I started

"2) Call me fluffy again and there will be dire consequences." I nodded. "3)You will get nothing you want accomplished until the pranks stop and the respect starts." I nodded again.

"As you wish Lord Sexy-sama!" I replied and ran off giggling. Sesshomaru's Eye twitched. He shook his head and walked into the study again and caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror.

"HINAKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" His voice rang though the corridors of the castle and I burst out laughing along with Rin.  
*End Flashback*

"Yeah, yeah I remember but I didn't think you were serious!" I wailed.

"Surprise." He said

"Fine then; I don't want you to eat any of the food I made." I smirked. He wasn't very specific with his rule, and I had found a loophole. He growled and then began eating but not before saying.

"New Rule!"

#4: Appear in a private meeting

Sesshomaru was in a private meeting with the Lords and Ladies of the other lands. Rin was taking a nap, or was she doing homework? What's the difference? And Boooglie? Haven't seen him since the day we met. So what now? I was bored. 'Dun, dun, dun'  
Yes, I Hinako Minoshiu was bored; that in itself is dangerous. Well, here are the choices. Rin, Sexy-I mean Sesshy or Boooglie. 'Homework is important, and I never liked Boooglie, so I guess Sesshy is the last available choice. Here I come!' I thought and walked to the study flinging the door open.

"Sesshy! I'm bored!" I said walking in ignoring the looks I got from everyone in the room.

"Um, congratulations?" He said.

"I need something constructive to do. What's going on in here?" I asked. He sighed

"Important business, now get ou-"

"Who wants to play spades?!" I yelled excitedly holding up a deck of cards.

"Hinako!" Sesshomaru hissed

"Now, now Sesshomaru, I think we all could use a break…" one man said. I beamed at him.

"Yes Sesshomaru you're much too tense, you could learn a lesson from miss, Hinako was it?" another lady said. I nodded. "Such a charming girl." She said. I smiled and dealt the cards, not noticing Sesshomaru's eyes flashing red.

#3: Teach their "child" how to talk back

This is a given. But here's what happened:

Rin and I were in her room, as we were generally found, playing with some of her toys. All was going well until Boooglie decided to force his presence on us.

"Rin! Why are you in here playing! You should be practicing your calligraphy or something! Not frolicking around with Hinako." He sneered in his slimy little voice.

"But master Jaken, I've already practiced today and now I wanna play with Hinako." Rin said sweetly. Boooglie scoffed.

"Rin! Stop acting like and insolent child. You have been spending too much time with Hinako!" He said. I glared at him

"Awww come on Boooglie, I mean Jaken! Give us a break let us play for a little longer!" Boooglie glared at me.

"Absolutely not! You may not care about being intelligent but Lord Sesshomaru wants Rin to become and intelligent respectable lady!" He squawked. I glared darkly at Boooglie all of my sweetness gone.

"I KNOW you did not just call me a stupid whore!" I Screeched.

"Well those weren't my exact words but," He said smirking but I cut him off.

"No, you listen here. I am 10 gagillions times better, smarter and more respectable than you are! And so You are going to leave this room and leave us alone! Got it?!" I said loudly. Rin looked shocked but Jaken was irate.

"How dare you! You will apologize; and Rin you will begin your studies now!" Boooglie squawked. Rin sighed and began to put her toys away but my hand stilled her.

"I'm, well WE, are not gonna do anything we don't wanna do. Now Get OUT!" Boooglie hesitated so I kicked him out. Literally. Rin was Shocked by the entire confrontation and awed when I got my way and Boooglie didn't return.

"Wow I've never seen anything like that! Jaken never listens to me no matter how nice I am but you got him to listen to you without being nice! Amazing." Rin said. I smirked at her.

"Sometimes being nice isn't the answer. Sometimes my dear, being nice isn't the answer. In Boooglies case I tried being nice it didn't work so I gave him attitude and demanded things till I got results. If being nice doesn't work you only have…" I looked at her and realized I wold probably regret this later but right now I can't bring myself to care. "You only have talking back or an option you won't have until you're older." I told her. She looked amazed at my wisdom. Then we bagan playing aain like the incident never happened.

Rin's talking back was really cute when she was talking back to Boooglie. It brought tears of pride to my eyes. But it wasn't s cute when it extended beyond Boooglie to others… Long story short Sesshomaru asked Rin to do something she said no, with a lot more attitude than is tolerated in the house; which resulted in grounding of her for doing it and myself for teaching it to her.

#2: Nicknames (yes there is something worse than nicknames)

"Lord Elfears-kun! Look I made a dictionary of all the nick names for you." I said happily finding Sesshomaru in a hallway.

"Wonderful." He said his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I know!" I said not caring about the sarcasm. "Look there's Lord Fluffykins, Lord Fluffy-chan, Sesshy, Sesshy-kun, Elfy, Puppy-chan, Lord Sexy-kun, Sexy, Sexy man, Sexy-sama, Sir Finess, cutiepie! I like that one and um there's Honey, boo, Pretty eyes, ice cream; Cold yet sweet get it? Ok and 'Nice when wet'," I winked "Elf-ears man, Lord puffy pants, Boooglies keeper," I heard Sesshy snort trying not to laugh again. I smiled and continued "Doggy, Puppy lord, sweet one, Rock, grumpy, Prince pampered, ladies man, daddy; Rin picked that one, but I'm sure I could find a use for it too." I said winking again. "Um… that's all on this page but we still have 5 more pages written and the rest of the book to fill!" I said smiling happily. Sesshomaru just groaned and waved me away. I was wearing him down, I could tell. He was beginning to like me. If he wasn't I would've been dead weeks ago before rin had the chance to get attached to me.

#1: Doing 1-5 while still trying in vain to seduce said sexxii lord into a relationship, or just your bed… A.K.A: Act like Hinako Minoshiu

That's right The #1 way is to act like me! Anything I have done to this point has aggravated someone or everyone, other than my partner in crime Rin.

The constant scene everyday:

"HINAKO!"

"HINAKOOOOOOO!"

"HINAKONA SAKURA MINOSHIU!" wait, who knows my full name. I looked outside to see an annoying looking girl in a modern day school Uniform from my old school. It was Kagome.

"What do you want Wench!" I called back to her.

"A battle." She said "For Inuyashas heart." I looked at her blankly.

"Ok, but Kikyo's not here..." I said. She did an anime fall

"I meant with you, Baka!" she screamed.

"Oh. Well then I forfeit. I don't want it. I only love my sexxiiest villain winner." I said powerfully in my own little world. "I would kill you anyway. Ok. So bye." I said. "SECURTY!" I yelled. *BAM.* She was tackled and thrown out. I smiled to myself

'I've always wanted to do that.' I giggled and went back into the house to keep my #1 position in the top 5.


	9. Wits End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a 5 year gap in posting for this story on fanfiction because college was a busy time and had a no nonsense attitude for randomness it seemed, but true to my statements I don't abandon stories.
> 
> That said here's a brand spankin new Chapter which no longer uses 1st person narrative for no apparent reason other that I wanted to try it out even in a story as silly as this because it writes and reads better. Maybe I'll switch back, maybe not. This Fic, unlike the others doesn't recieve the same literary consideration that my other stories do.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Lord Sexy sama.”  
  
A slight twitch.  
  
“Sexy my love!”  
  
Another twitch. This had developed into a near constant nervous tick that served to irritate him to no end. And the cause….  
  
“Master! I your humble and oh so very willing slave so request an audience with his royal sexiness of the western lands!”  
  
The devil incarnate he “rescued” sealing his fate in his own personal brand of hell. He often wondered what his life would have been like had he never met the bane of his existence. The bane who had just unceremoniously dropped herself into his lap and quite lewdly into his personal space.  
  
“You know darling, life could be a lot easier and exceedingly more pleasurable if you ceased pretending to ignore me all the time.”  
  
The twitch returned.  
  
“Oh? I hand not heard you address me and thus had no wish to interrupt your conversation with this mysterious master of yours.” He droned in his deep baritone. He needn’t have bothered it, as always fell on deaf ears.  
  
“Ooh that voice!!! The things it does to me my lord! Please slake the fires of my lust with your sensuous- mmmph mmph mm mphmm!”  
  
Ah blissful silence.  
  
“You’re getting old Sesshy.” Twitch. “But at least you still have maintained that gorgeous youthful face and body.” Twitch. “How do you do it?” She said batting those infernal eyelashes at him.  
  
“I am a full blooded demon, as you well know.” He replied, picking his battles was a tactic he was forced to learn over these long years. Why fight when he was destined to lose.  
“I’m a demon too! But I don’t pull it off half as well as you do!” She, a barely suppressed shudder ran down his spine, whined.  
  
“You,” He said unable to resist at least one barb, “Are an entirely different kind of demon. A true devil.” He said keeping his eyes closed from his cross-legged position in his personal rooms attempting to ignore the minx in his lap. Why he thought he would have a moments peace He’d never understand. As long as she had breath his days were doomed to torment. Predictably, She began an overly dramatic show of feigned hurt.  
  
“But My love!! You mean to say that you don’t love me anymore?!” She sniffed out tearfully giving him puppy dog eyes she must have learned from Rin. Or was it the other way around? Either way, he was unmoved.  
  
“Have I ever?” He said coldy. Score 2 for Sesshomaru. He didn’t have long to savor his victory, as tormentor grabbed his cheek pinching harshly and pulling it away from his face. He opened his eyes to slits to glare at her only to find an equally chilling glare with an added glint that promised torture aimed back at him.  
  
“Now Sesshy-sama that was really unkind. We are gonna have to work on how you treat your loved ones aren’t we?” She said in a sickeningly sweet voice that sent involuntary chills down his spine. Determined not to show any form of defeat he soldiered onwards.  
  
“What do you want Hinako?” He demanded as threateningly as one could be when they were having their cheek abused by a small woman. She grinned in victory releasing his cheek.  
  
“To tell the people that we’re back!” She said cheerfully Sesshomaru looked at her as if she had lost her mind even more than usual.  
  
“The people? What people, we are the only ones here Hinako.” He said slowly impressing his point.  
  
“It’s been five long years but now we have returned to share my adventures with my love and all the rest!” She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Now we must hide our energetic lovemaking behind closed doors unlike the past 5 years!” She declared to her invisible audience.  
  
“Love making?” Sesshomaru said blankly now thoroughly confused and at his limit of Hinako’s unique brand of insanity, he stood carelessly allowing Hinako to tumble from his lap to the floor. He didn’t look back or pause once as he exited.  
  
“Ow!!! Sesshy!” She cried after him.  
  
“Sesshomaru! Of The Western Lands! You have something that belongs to Naraku and he wants it back!!!” A voice called from outside. Sesshomaru paused his cold lordly demeanor returning. He turned to head for the door.  
  
“Could it be?” A voice inquired from his side. He glanced down unsurprised to see Hinako but slightly concerned at the barely veiled glee in her eyes.  
  
The pair continued to the large double doors of the mansion in which they lived pushing open the door and glancing outside to see a group of 7 individuals the leader up front had long black hair twisted into a braid and a gigantic sword swung over his shoulder. He sensed jewel shards from them all  
  
“What Business have you here?” Sesshomaru inquired coldly.  
  
“It is!!!”Hinako’s shrill fangirl cry called. “It’s the wonderfully attractive Bankotsu and his band of misfits!!” She continued stars in her eyes. The entire group looked at her in with varying stages of amusement, incredulity and annoyance at her proclamation.  
  
Bankotsu himself smirked “Well thank you for making this easy, Hand over the girl quietly and we might you live.” He said. Hinako for her part stood staring starry eyed, and did not notice until the door behind her slammed shut that Sesshomaru had dropped a bag of her things next to her ad for all intents and purposes abandoned her to the mercies of their visitors.  
  
The group outside collectively blinked in astonishment at the easy of their mission. Bankotsu, snapping out of it first walked over tossed the bag to a random member of his band and threw Hinako over his shoulder before turning and walking away from the mansion.  
  
“Sesshomaru you bastard!!! Get back here!! You can’t just give me away! You have to fight! I’m your lover! You’ll regret this!!! You’re gonna miss me Sesshomaru!!” Hinako screamed at the castle as she was taken away into the trees in the arms of another man.  
Sesshomaru was finding it hard to suppress his grin of glee. He had exorcised the devil from his home! He was free! He was… Lonely? Surely that was merely his imagination. He was simply unused to having precious peace and quiet for longer than a minute uninterrupted. That was all.  
  
He continued back into his home towards his study passing Rin who had a heartbroken accusing look on her face that he tried to ignore. She was young, in time she’d get over it. Upon entering his study though he was floored to find fully prepared feast on his desk with a terrified and traumatized Jaken on the center dish plate with a grapefruit plunged what looked to be painfully in his mouth, begin his master with his eyes to release him. Above the feast were banners saying everything from “Congratulations! It’s a Boooglie!” to “Happy Anniversary of your Birthday Marriage!” The only thing missing was an unashamedly grinning Hinako there to torment him with her foolish nicknames before running away to escape his wrath. And suddenly, he had to laugh. A Deep chuckle with a slightly hysterical edge to it that suitably terrified his servant into fainting and, he sincerely hoped his nose was deceiving him, urinating on himself. The Devil witch must have cursed him with her last words, she certainly seemed capable of it, that was the only way to explain the empty feeling of loss in his chest at her absence. And for heavens sake he had only just rid himself of the girl…  
  
No.  
  
He would give himself a week to re-accustom himself to a proper normal life. If the Feeling hadn’t passed by then he would see a witch or priestess to rid him of her curse. There was simply no way that he actually… Missed her.

Was there?


End file.
